Tears Just For Me
by Falcone
Summary: Gippal, a seventeen year old boy, can't handle reality any longer. So he decides he is going to end it all, but then he meets a girl who he thinks can be the one to save him. Anger, Pain, and Love...RikkuGippal! R&R!


**TEARS JUST FOR ME**

**Summary: **Gippal is a seventeen-year-old boy who can't handle the reality that is his life anymore. To end it all he decides that he is going to commit suicide but finds that going through with his decision is much harder then he thinks. As he continues to ponder over the note to his family that he has already written, a new girl arrives at his school. She immediately befriends Gippal and soon he finds himself falling for her.

**Author's Notes: **I wanted to do a story about a boy who wanted to commit suicide for quite a while now. But every time I tried to write anything the idea just went nowhere. There was no flow whatsoever and so I put the idea aside. But when I saw the music video of "Nothing to Lose," by Billy Talent, the idea just popped. So I guess this story is sort of based on it. This is kind of a high-school fic, but a twisted one. So enjoy and please REVIEW!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the song "Nothing to Lose," or anything associated with it. Billy Talent does. I also so not own FFX-2.

**Prologue: Dear Mum, Dad, and Natalie**

_Dear Mum, Dad, and Natalie…_

I know what you must be thinking right now as you hold onto my letter that have my last words to you on it. But I can tell you right now. None of this was your fault and there is no way that you could've stopped what was to happen. What I did was inevitable and it was the only way to end my suffering as well as yours. It was a choice I had to make, and though it was hard to realize that I had to go through with it, I know it was the right thing to do.

You really did try to make me happy and I appreciate all that you did for me, but the truth was that no one could really make me smile again. Life was too hard and school was getting worse and worse with each day. No matter how many therapists I would see or how many pills I would take, I could never drown out the reality. It was always there, like a wound that was constantly being re-opened. Each time the wound was cut into again the pain only grew bigger and the chance of healing became even smaller.

But now as I lay coldly in the ground, I can really tell you the truth.

It may have seemed like I was doing better but it was never like that. I've really changed. Maybe it was just the people around me or maybe it _was_ just me, but every time I saw the world I saw a dark place full of dark people and I knew I didn't want to be someone like that. I didn't want to be sucked into something I couldn't handle that would only warp me into someone I wasn't. That's why I was never really accepted anywhere. Because I was being true to myself and not trying to be something fabricated.

School was what really started it. I have always been a different person and bullied pretty much my whole life, but when I went to high-school things turned from bad to worse. People just seemed so horrible and all they did was want to hurt others for no reason. I tried to cope with the fact that no one ever wanted to be my friend or even talk and on days like that I new I was really and truly alone. No one wanted to know me or know what I was like. They didn't even want to know what my name was. And one day I realized that I didn't want to put up with all this shit anymore; it just got too much and I couldn't handle it. I rather die then have to live in this hell that was my reality. I didn't want to be beat up everyday or have to walk down those halls watching them stare at me. I didn't want to hear them mutter insults to me because they were too scarred to deal with their own fucked up lives. I wanted it to end. And so, that's why by the time you read this I will be gone. I won't be there anymore shunning myself in my room and I won't be there anymore screaming fucking curses in my head to all those who looked at me with contempt in their eyes. I will be happy in a better place. I'll finally be free from all of this.

So when you go home and see that I am not there I don't want you to be sorry because you lost a son and brother. But I want you to be happy because I am happy too and that's all I ever wanted.

I love you all and I hope you never forget me.

_Gippal_


End file.
